Back to CHOP Again

This afternoon we go back to CHOP, but instead of trying to help our baby we are going to officially hear the results of our baby's autopsy. It a strange feeling. Our baby shouldn't have had an autopsy. She should have been growing inside me and making her arrival around Easter. But instead she passed away and an autopsy was performed.

Jason and I have a copy of the autopsy. We got it the day it was finished about two weeks ago. The only chromosomal issue is the deletion of the 45, X chromosome (Turner Syndrome) which was completely expected. It also lists in detail everything that was wrong that we were already told. I don't want them to tell me again everything that was wrong with Hannah. I've heard it from doctors over and over again. Turner Syndrome is not hereditary so I don't want to meet them for them to tell us that. But maybe it will be good for me to hear. Maybe it will give some closure on her health.

On top of it all my doctor at CHOP told me when we were there for a second opinion that I could contact her personally with any questions or concerns. So the next day I emailed her. I never heard from her again. She read the email then went behind my back and called my OB/GYN and told her about the email. I'm dealing with some forgiveness issues. This doctor had good bedside manner but lied to me. I'd rather she not offer me to contact her than for her to offer it then just ignore me. I'm asking for God's help so I can forgive her. I'm in a much better place today than I was a week ago with it.



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