Tuesday, March 4, 2014

Baby Loss Healing Through Lent?

I am not catholic, but I am a devout non-denominational Christian. My faith is very important to me. It is one of the few things I'm 100% confident in. I love the idea of Lent. I have observed it for the past 6 years. I have given up things like bleached flour, soda, etc. To be honest I forgot Lent starts tomorrow. Since losing Hannah my initial thought about Lent was that I already gave up my daughter why should I give up anything else this year. So, I seriously considered just skipping Lent this year. I'm not angry at God but I gave up enough.

I knew deep down that this was the wrong attitude to have. Lent is about fasting, sacrifice, facing temptation, repentance, almsgiving, and prayer. It is a time to reflect on Jesus, His life, sacrifice, suffering, death, burial, and resurrection. It is a time to build a closer relationship with Him. That fact that Hannah died doesn't change the meaning of Lent. How could I think that I already gave up enough when God sent His only Son, Jesus, as sacrifice to die for all of us.

I realized that Lent can truly help me heal and learn to live with the loss of Hannah. I know only positive spiritual growth can come from this. Deciding what I am going to do for Lent has been a bit more challenging, because I really want this to have significant meaning. I also want to make sure I focus on all three parts of Lent: fasting, prayer, and almsgiving. I researched various ideas on the internet. I combined ideas I found online and my own ideas. Below you can see what I decided on. And so I continue of this journey of baby loss, grief, mourning, and healing.

Fasting - Stop comparing myself to other women with kids and/or who are pregnant.
Prayer - Start every morning with a quiet time focusing on God and read a baby loss devotional.
Almsgiving - Focus on registering as a nonprofit to begin helping many mommies with recovery boxes.

P.S.
I decided to share my journey through Lent. I will post daily updates on my struggles, successes, emotions, and thoughts. I will also post my daily devotionals, follow along with me - Grieving the Child I Never Knew by Kathe Wunnenberg.

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