It hurts emotionally and physically. My heart literally aches. My arm literally aches. I just want to hold her. I just want to show her my love. I just want her here. There are times I just break down and literally have no control over it. It's happened during church, at a musical, at the mall, watching tv, laying in bed, and many others places. There are terrible days I just want to crawl in a hole and never come out. There are ok days when I enjoy moments throughout the day. There are days that are a mixture. I can easily talk about Hannah's health, but there are other things I can't mention or barely think about without breaking down.
It doesn't matter how strong we are, if we take medicine to help with the emotional pain, if we are young moms or older moms or moms in between, if we are religious, if we have other living children, if we have support, losing our babies sucks. It's that simple.
As mommies and daddies of baby loss we are allowed to say it sucks, to have bad days, bad moments, to grieve and mourn. Our lives have been forever changed and it will never be the same.
Psalm 34:18
The Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit.
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