Saturday, May 3, 2014

A Father's Grief

When Heather and I lost Hannah, it created a whirlwind of emotions.  We went through all sorts of anger, sadness, grief, and so much more.  But through all of this, I observed something.  Fathers and Mothers go through very different kinds of grief.  I know there are things that are similar and we have both lost, but there is something that is different about it as a Father. 

Having lost Hannah, my wife and I were both face with the longing to have our daughter back.  Here is the part where it's different for me as a Father.  As a man, it is my instinct to want to be able to find a solution to a problem.  I want to be able to fix things.  I can't fix this.  There is nothing I can do to make this right.  I can't make this better.  This makes this so much harder for me to handle.  Why is nothing I can do to fix things.  I want to be able to.  I want to be able to make things right.  I want to be able to take away my wife's pain.  This is what makes the grief even harder for me.  Realizing there is nothing I can do and dealing with that fact makes it even more difficult to stomach. 

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